Life is all about relationships. We all have them, we all need them

Yes, coming from me, for those who know me, that may sound crazy. I have been a loner much of this last 18 months that I have been a digital nomad. And yes. I needed that solitude, and I still enjoy my solitude, my “me” time very much, in fact, I crave it!

During this time that I have been traveling and visiting family, friends and making new ones, I have not been completely alone. I have cherished so much the time with old friends that I have not seen in nearly 20 years. I have made some amazing new friends and spent quality time with family and other friends that I have not always been able to previously.

These relationships are vital to me! My children, my grands, my family, my “extended/adopted” family, close friends, new friends…. they all have a very special places in my heart & soul!

We are social beings, and no matter how much you may think that you do not need anyone or need relationships, we innately do require social interactions. Not all relationships are positive or last long. But they are all synchronicities in our lives for a reason.

Every relationship in our lives is placed there to teach us something to help us expand and grow.

What triggers us in others is a mirror of something that needs to shift or be released in ourselves. This is why we are instructed throughout all ancient teachings not to judge. The Bible says iron sharpens iron.

When we begin to seek out why each and every person is placed in our paths, and we choose to heal that in ourselves, we no longer have anything to judge.

I have learned over the last several years that I had to evaluate my relationships closely. I must choose what I will and will not tolerate in my life. What energy and vibrations someone brings into my field is up to me. I choose to surround myself with higher vibrational relationships.

As we learn and remember who we really are at our core, our soul-self, we come to realize that some relationships no longer serve us or are toxic. Choosing to release those relationships, cut/burn the ties that have bound you to these people can be painful, but necessary.

Let me give a bit of my backstory, as this lesson has not been an easy one for me to learn, it has taken me most of my life, much pain and guilt.

When I was 15 years old I allowed the cycle of abuse to begin in my life.

3 marriages, a few long-term relationships, 10 kids, 12 grands, over 30 years of tolerance and choices to continue to allow men to treat me abusively.

With all that came scarcity mindset, guilt for how my children were raised and the environments I allowed them to be exposed to. Children with trauma and emotional issues, criminal histories, additions and learning disabilities all led to deep-seated guilt, shame and years of believing I was not enough.

In the last decade, I also have watched the effects of my choices trickle down to my grands, some who have or have had absent fathers, early childhood trauma and the emotional effects of that.

Obviously, it took me a lifetime to recognize that I was a victim, to finally burn that mindset, heal and release the emotions, wounds, feelings, etc. I repeated the victim cycle so often, for so many years I had no idea what it was like to not be a victim. I did not even know how to survive.

But I had children, my life-my world. For me, they were the only choice. I consistently attempted to keep going, to better our lives. I failed myself & them so many times.

But failure is only failure if you stop getting back up.

What I have learned in the last few years

I AM ENOUGH!

I am perfectly imperfect.

Everything that made me, me, was perfect.

  • I can only make choices from what I know.
  • Life is what we make it.
  • We make choices, we live the consequences.
  • We learn. We live. We choose.

So what does all that have to do with relationships?

EVERYTHING!

I chose my relationships. I chose to allow them in my field. I chose to tolerate abuse.

I chose to be blind to the lessons I needed to learn and move on.

I chose to believe I was the savior, that I could change another person.

I chose nearly a lifetime of losing me, not speaking my truth, not even knowing or believing my truth.

What do I now choose?

I choose to believe that I AM ENOUGH.

I choose to scrutinize every single relationship, every single connection, every single moment of my life.

  • Does this serve me?
  • Does this help me expand?
  • What is the gain? The loss?
  • What is the lesson in this moment?

I choose to step back when someone triggers me and ask myself, “What is this trying to teach me?”

I choose to burn the bounds created by relationships that no longer serve me.

I choose to boldly stand in the mirror of myself, in others and see without judgment where I need to heal myself.

Then what?

I choose to call in the high vibrational relationships that will take me to the next level.

 

I love you. I see you. You are enough.

Rita

 

 

Welcome to My Little Piece of the Internet…

Hi! I finally did it!

I have procrastinated this website for almost 2 years. I was super excited when I first opted-in for someone to create a done-for-you site, all I had to do was personalize it.

Not sure now why I even put it off, then when I started to jump in, it felt hard and my mindset stayed with the “this is going to be hard and take forever” to do. So it never got done.

The real underlying mindset and blocks were much deeper.

Fear…. isn’t it always some underlying fear that is our biggest block?

  • Fear of putting myself out there
  • Fear of not being good enough, or enough at all
  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of who am I to think I can DO all this

And no it has not taken me 2 years to figure all those fears out, but it has taken that long for me to finally leap out of my comfort zone and jump in 100%!

Let myself be seen, heard, vulnerable…be real with myself and write down all the skills that I DO have and I AM good at, in fact, some I am pretty damn amazing at!

So here I am…all of me.

I am not going to hold back anything, this will be my little sacred place where I throw it all at and choose to believe that I am safe, support and loved by Spirit so very deeply that it will be amazing!

I think sometimes when we finally realize that we are on a self-discovery, self-development journey we get caught up in it. Almost like an addiction.

We want more….

To learn more, feel more, grow more, expand more…all of it. The next course, the next book, the next event or retreat. It almost becomes a high to know that we are doing it all. And suddenly, you realize that yes you have gone deeply internal, healed & released a ton of bullshit, expanded and grown immensely.

But….

What have you DONE with it all?

It is our responsibility to remember our essence, our true self, discover our passions and desires, co-create our dream lives. But it is also our responsibility to step out of our new comfort zone of personal development and IMPACT others, raise the collective consciousness & serve our purpose.

Even when I first spoke this out loud… I was on a video call with a dear Goddess, half-way across the globe, as I was driving. ( I love you, Dawn!) We were just having a chat and I had this brewing for a day or so, but not in any real depth, until I started talking about it.

But here I waited weeks again…before I am now speaking my truth and admitting that I was hiding behind this self-improvement comfort zone.

The fears, insecurities, limiters are real you guys! We have to be not just aware of them, but we have to say Fuck You! And tell our subconscious to shut the hell up!

I’ll tell you what Dawn said to me that day, 2 things that hit deep and I love you so much for holding the mirror and space for me, lovely!

She said…

  1. “How you show up in 1 part of your life, is how you show up on many levels….”
  2. “I see future posts coming up…”

Here is 1 such post, dedicated to you! 😉

We all need lovely friends like Dawn, who kick our asses sometimes, or are willing to ask the hard questions in love, and hold space for us! I am so blessed to have these friends!

Gratitude for women who love and support other women!

I hope that you will come back and see how my site is coming, as it is obviously still under construction. I am also doing much behind the scenes with putting my services out so publically I am updating all the details! The site will be worked on as quickly as possible so that I can create super high-quality content for you!

And I will be updating on my new vision/purpose for children….stay tuned!

With so much love & gratitude for your time!

Rita